Sensorial Pleasure Man
The place was blasting with the sound of electronic games. It came from more than one device. There was the unmistakably sound of Candy Crush and another that I’m not quite sure of, but there was some shooting involved. It wasn’t difficult to locate the source of this party since I’m in a public library. There seated with two mobile phones and two laptops was an elderly gentleman, probably in his 70s sporting a bright orange huge headphone over — where else but his head. There were at least more than a dozen people seated nearby and a librarian arranging some books.
“Am I hearing things?” I wondered to myself as everyone seems oblivious to this abnormal etiquette.
After assuring myself that my hearing is fine, I paused and hesitated if I should politely request that he put everything to silent mode. This is after all, the library and I’m there to have some peace.
I can hear the sound blasting from his headphone as I came closer to him — I suspect he has a hearing issue. True enough, he couldn’t hear me even after removing his headphones. Turns out, for a few seconds, I was the noise polluter when I had to raise my voice to make my request known. He was quite prompt and cooperative and he turned down the volume (not silent) of all his objects of entertainment immediately. It does seem like the devices are of great importance to him. In any case, he didnt hang out in the library for too long. I suspect he was there to tap on the wifi and the electricity as he was charging his devices.
I became a regular to the library in a bid to find a peaceful and quiet place to do my work. Since leaving full time employment and doing part time teaching, developing course and whatever else, securing a place I can concentrate hasn’t been easy. For the bulk of the time, I tried to work from home. I hardly even study at home. Distractions abound, my bed especially. Having spent more than 20 years in full time employment, I had spent most of my days away from home and I am a restless being. Being away from home also mean reduced contact with my mum. Now that I was trying to work from home especially in this pandemic, frequent contact is equivalent to frequent friction, frequent disagreement, frequent shouting…. frequent destroyer of peace. Sometimes I wonder why I’m such a terrible daughter. Other times, i wonder why she just have to be a clean and control freak.
Library became ideal — free aircon, wifi, lots and lots of books, most of all, its quiet …. or it’s meant to be. The library that is within walking distance from my place became my “office”. I start to get familiar with the shelves, and despite needing to wear mask, i started to recognize the regular, and also, the peculiar.
The tech savvy uncle had only appeared once. He made me think of what an elderly gentleman needs. Books don’t draw him — or I doubt so. He doesn’t play sophisticated games but he is quite attached to his devices. Perhaps it gives him something to do to kill time, and the multi-senosorial effect numbs other sensations. I wonder how is his social life and his relationship with himself. It makes me think of elderly centres, the Senior Activity Centres — meant for those in his age category yet so unimaginable that he would step into a SAC.
I wonder if a company of elderly gentleman who lock eyes with their devices instead of each other might be a good idea — in a place much like a library with the space, seats, wifi and electricity might be helpful — they can have some form of online interaction and occasional eye contact over perhaps a cookie or a cup of coffee — where they can perhaps smile, have a friendly chat — and perhaps feel a little better about themselves and look forward to another day where they can have a bit of social contact yet not too much that makes it uncomfortable.
Bagman
I don’t mean disrespect, but this gentleman who is likely between late 50s and mid 60s have lots of bags — plastic bags. He usually appear scruffy with a shirt that seems missing a few buttons and not properly washed and towing lots of plastic bags. They were usually neatly folded, contained in other plastic bags. He does have an aged backpack where he keeps a small laptop that seems just as aged. He usually occupies the last seat on the right side of the library cos that’s where the power socket is — with a great view of greenary. I like to admire the green, but that is not my regular seat, cos I can never beat him in getting that seat. So the left side has to do, there are more sockets available.
Bagman charges his devices — laptop, mobile phone. But his devices are quiet. In fact, bagman hates noise. I overheard him telling unruly kids off a couple of times and a lady who just wont stop talking on the phone. I started to appreciate him for keeping the peace. After all, this is the library for goodness sake — go out if you need to talk on the phone! Have some proper etiquette!
Contrary to earlier belief, Bagman doesn’t smell — or perhaps, i haven’t got close enough. The only time we shared a desk (he was late himself!) he was quiet, sullen and a formidable face but he doesn’t smell or perhaps, the mask that i’m mandated to wear is of great quality. I’ve hardly seen Bagman with books. His main preoccupation is watching some program or folding his plastic bags. Sometimes he would take his leave with his bags but only to return 1–2 hours later.
I wonder about his life too. Where does he stay? Is he here to avoid someone, something? Perhaps the price of electricity that fluctuates? Or the wifi so he can watch some program in peace. His many plastic bags suggest he had experienced losses in his life. What might he be mourning?
Government Man
He comes with 2 laptops usually — a HP and one other i’ve not quite figured out. What caught my eye wasn’t just his laptops — he comes with a multi-plug. A couple of times, we shared a socket after he requested to share the power supply flashing his multi-plug. He usually comes in the afternoon and will stay transfixed on his devices. Caught the reflection once and saw he was sending emails on a platform that looks familiar. Other times he was poring over some tables and numbers. I figured out he is a civil servant when another gentleman approached him for help to connect to the wifi. The other guy is oblivious to the need to lower his voice and speak in regular voice. Government man appears to be in a fix — perhaps wondering if he should not engage to avoid being stared at for breaking the sacred silence of the library or to be nice and assist him. In any case, other guy isn’t tech savvy, and couldn’t connect to the internet. He thought perhaps it was cos his device is “government’s computer” and asked Government man if his devices were similar which he nodded, and hence won the title i gave him — government man. I guess civil servants have to work from home. Similarly, he has never browsed the shelves, his primary aim is similar to mine — wifi, electricity and most importantly, a quiet place to do my stuff…. except, i love the books.
Vodka Lady
I had to do a double take. I recognized the bottle, but I can’t believe my eyes, so to be discrete, I circled back to the shelf pretending to be looking over the books to be sure that I wasn’t seeing things. Coming to the library makes me doubt my ears (sensorial pleasure man) and now my eyes. There, right behind the lady’s bag lies a bottle of Absolut Vodka. Again, perhaps my mask is of supremely good quality, but I didn’t smell any alcohol. I guess this is quite a beautiful bottle that can double up as a water bottle. It’s absolutely (pun quite intended) environmental anyway.
My pretense in looking for books did yield good finds — as I snigger quietly over this book and brought it back to my desk to leaf through and happily sent the photo to my friend Sophie. Not the first time the name is associated with dogs. She was not very amused.
In any case, the lady does not appear intoxicated. She does seem enamoured with the books along these shelves (doubt it’s about dogs) and for almost an hour, she was just hanging out in the same area. I know that as I had returned to place the Sophie book back to where I took it. Didn’t want to be spotted spying on what caught her interest but took a third and fourth glance at the bottle to confirm it is what it is. The next time I saw the lady she was ready to leave, as I was, with her arms wrapped around what I believe is her beloved bottle. I suppose the bottle, the place and the books is a semblance of heaven for her?
Self-Talk Lady
She sat opposite me with her laptop and her eyes were transfixed on the screen too. Like me and a few others, library is a workspace for her with the electricity supply, wifi, aircon, quiet environment…. perhaps it was a little too quiet. It didn’t take long before she decided to talk to herself in whispers, thankfully. Thinking she was on the phone, I wanted to ask her to take her calls elsewhere to realize, she wasn’t. I was debating if I should ask to lower her voice but I guess I have no excuse, she was whispering. Besides, it is rather entertaining. She was chiding herself, laughing at her own comments and continued her own conversation with herself. She is a great illustrator of what it means to be one’s best company. Some of her best comments are “”神经!” (crazy!) “做到这样多 kenna sai” (shitty to have to do so much!). I wonder if she was scolding me.
Stern Man
Every library has some librarian, this one has a disciplinarian with a head of grey haired. I estimated that he is in his late 60s or early 70s. He captures attention each time he chides people for taking out our mask — never mind you were just having a sip of water, to him, its transgression. His tone was never kind, neither was his posture. Otherwise, he will firmly tell people off for daring to speak on the phone. Didn’t help that there is a large construction site opposite the library with frequent pounding noises. Imagine pounding plus him calling people out. One time, he stared at me when I was eating outside the library. I think he was confused if I had transgressed, and for a moment wondered if I needed his correction. But he stared with seems to be judgy eyes. But well, he has no case — I’m out of the library — take that stern judgy man!
Library of Us
A friend suggested this title “A peace of haven” for this reflection when i told her I should write about my fun encounters in the library. It makes me think of the parallel universe within us and what these encounters reflect. We are a library of memories, knowledge and whatever our universe holds in our brain, our guts, our system. Treasure trove in some ways, with streams of vodka alike substances going through our veins that can bring pleasure or numbness, hoping to hold the pureness of water to cleanse us? Except most times, it doesn’t. We seek ways of pleasure, of sensorial input of sound, visual, perhaps tactile but not olfactory. Or perhaps, it is just to kill time. We seek the haven of some peace in places and spaces, only needing to heed the invitation to travel within, and sit with the quietness of ourselves, and perhaps, talk to ourselves about what we have hoarded neatly packed in various types of bags — through chiding, through affirmation, through the way we judge ourselves, through some good laughs, and perhaps even tears. Perhaps, we mourn, we grieve in ways that we don’t even want to face or deal with, cos it hurts so dearly. And perhaps that journey of sitting, sometimes through the hard pounding noises and yet persist in sitting through and not seek some distraction that we find that peace, and that haven …. is really within ourselves and with God.
